Daughter : i have a question.. something regarding "girls" stuff? should i explain it.. err u do understand, don't u ayah?

Ayah : i heard a lot from your mother.. let me share you  a story of Prophet Musa a.s. Referring to surah Al-Qasas : 24-27. 

And when he arrived at the water of Madyan (Midian) he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: "What is the matter with you?" They said: "We cannot water (our flocks) until the shepherds take (their flocks). And our father is a very old man." (23) So he watered (their flocks) for them, then he turned back to shade, and said: "My Lord! truly, I am in need of whatever good that You bestow on me!" (24) Then there came to him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: "Verily, my father calls you that he may reward you for having watered (our flocks) for us." So when he came to him and narrated the story, he said: "Fear you not. You have escaped from the people who are Zâlimûn (polytheists, disbelievers, and wrong-doers)." (25)And said one of them (the two women): "O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy." (26) He said: "I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years, but if you complete ten years, it will be (a favour) from you. But I intend not to place you under a difficulty. If Allâh wills, you will find me one of the righteous." (27)

So my dear, being keen on getting to know someone you like is not the proper way. If you like some one, make du'a and let Allah guide him for you. Take good care of your Iman and put all your trust to Allah. My dear, you have nothing to lose. 

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Thinking of how life was before... how frustrating it was.. a kind reminder whisper my ears " My love, Forgive yourself... Be mindful of Allah, Allah will protect you..Hold on of your iman, don't give it to Shaitaan..  Every breath we take is a chance of taubah and a chance of Jannah.. Allah promise He will forgive His servant.. no matter what have you done, hold on..."

team work? what does it have to do with my solah?

as a student, we need to fulfill the requirement , dealing with group member and yet dateline never waits. It really sucks.. especially when you just don't know where to start and where to end and still the one who really cares to  find solution..cramping the brain.. doing excessive reading and meet the lecture is only 2 out of 7 members..

i have a suggestion..  this is what i do to lower my ego centrism ^_^ and try harder to listen to others..i did try so many ways to better my communication with others but it end up feeling so tired thinking about so much wrongs i've done. but why must i become the victim?.. so i take a pause and try to reflect my solah..  i want to be the best version of me.. i explore my strength while performing prayers..

first : Time..The intention to perform solah on time before proceeding other task means i am making my relation with Allah as a priority. Whenever i delay my prayers.. i delay doing my homework.. i delay my responsibility towards others ( such as emailing my part of assignment...) i am always late to attend discussion...

second : Tama'ninah ... Whenever i miss doing tama'ninah in my solat, i realise i speak a lot without thinking.. i often have rush in my thoughts.. i found it hard to organize my ideas or writing in order..

third : understand... Some times i do read al -fatihah quickly.. without trying to say it by heart.. i just want to make it done.. then i notice.. that is why it is hard for me to understand my study and also it makes me insensitive with other feelings..  do something for a reason.. read alfatihah in the prayer with contentment of the heart.. ask Allah and never forget everything happen with Allah's will.. you'll find peace speaking to other people as well.

fourth : ablution .. i find it is hard for me to wash my clothes daily if i did not do my ablution at my best. because doing ablution is suppose to ensure us to be clean. i did also find my room to be quite messy whenever i simplify my ablution. same goes to my table.. it is untidy and always stresses me up.. i also found my selection of clothes is dull and it does influence my conversation with other group member.

fifth : memorizing surah ... when i keep on rewinding the same surah while i am doing solat, it means i am not improving my knowledge.. i am repeating and keep repeating without having sense of improving. i do not mind if yesterday and today gone by without any difference..  it is said that a Muslim who is in a great loss is the one who let by today as same or worse than yesterday. Even one ayat, it means a lot in improving my skill of learning at class. I learned that what Allah value is our effort not the outcome.. with this understanding, it comforts me whenever the presentation is condemned, remind me if the presentation is highly praised, the most important is how Allah value my effort..

sixth : ruku' and sujud .. this is the important key.. i always remind my self to spend more time doing ruku' and sujud..  because i know, the effect of not doing it.. i will always think i am so good, i look down other people.. i don't respect other people feelings, ideas or even emotion.. and at most.. i always think optimistically without being realistic..i started to backbiting others and forget that i am a servant.. sujud is everything.. it tells me that i am not alone, Allah hears me.. and knowing that Allah is there watching me.. nothing is more precious than this..

  seventh : salam..  doing salaam in my prayers is believing that human is just a part of living creature in this life. It means, malaikat ( angel) is always beside me.. so do shaitaaan.. so i need to be careful in my life.. salaam also reminds me that there is an end in my life..we are still given some time to repent and it motivates me to do at my best because life does end.. and it does encourage me to try forgive others.. even it hurts so much.. I want Allah to forgive me.. why do i have to bother thinking other faults? rather i should say alhamdulillah.. with this wound in my heart, it makes me closer to Allah.. and alhamdulillah.. with this scar, i will be more careful in the games of dunya.

take the opportunity to perform solah in jamaah..  you will realise that there are other people struggling to be a good muslim as well.. and you will learn that being alone is pathetic.. you will be left behind not knowing what is the "Real" thing.. so don't miss to mingle around with people who likes going to mosque :-)

Make me strong.. sometimes it just gets too much

I know I’m waiting, Waiting for something, Something to happen to me, But this waiting comes with Trials and challenges. Nothing in life is free ,I wish that somehow You’d tell me out aloud That on that day I’ll be ok. But we’ll never know cause That’s not the way it works Help me find my way. My Lord show me right from wrong.Give me light make me strong. I know the road is long,Make me strong. Sometimes it just gets too much. I feel that I’ve lost touch. I know the road is long Make me strong. I know I’m waiting. Yearning for something. Something known only to me. This waiting comes with Trials and challenges. Life is one mystery. I wish that somehow You’d tell me out aloud ,That on that day you’ll forgive me. But we’ll never know cause That’s not the way it works.
I beg for your mercy. My Lord show me right from wrong Give me light make me strong. I know the road is long. Make me strong. Sometimes it just gets too much I feel that I’ve lost touch I know the road is long Make me strong. 


Words: Sami Yusuf 
Music: Sami Yusuf 
Produced by Sami Yusuf